I trust Him, I trust Him not…

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lovemelovemenot.jpgAs I walked up from the beach today, I overheard a conversation between a couple.  I had noticed them as I trekked upwards: he was kinda looking off into the distance appearing really apathetic and she was staring at him almost longingly.  As I walked past them, and in between my own gasps for breath, I heard her pleading with him, “If only you would let yourself trust me…”.  I wasn’t able to hear his response.  I decided stopping and staring would not only be blatantly obvious, but also extremely rude (yes, I can monitor myself at times!).  But, I find it hard to believe he really had anything to say in response to that.  I mean, really, what is there to say?

Instantly I started analyzing relationships.  I felt frustrated that she felt the need to practically beg him to trust her; although it’s possible she had done nothing to betray his trust (of course, I also realize there is a chance she has).  I wondered why we spend so much of our time in relationships attempting to build trust with the other.  I mean, why can’t we go into each relationship with a blind trust?  Why do we allow people who have betrayed our trust impede our future relationships?

Then, I had a thought.  One that seemed directly from the Lord…He just repeated what the girl had been saying: “If only you would let yourself trust Me.”  I had spent the time at the beach trying to come to terms and make sense of some big things going on in my life lately.  I felt the need to get some quality alone time with the Lord to get some answers.  But, really, why am I in such desperate need of answers?  Why do I let the decision about next year dominate my thoughts?  Why am I anxious about work, my weight, my commitments, and life in general?  All of these worries are direct reflections of the fact I am not putting all of my trust in Him.  I am attempting to take things upon myself and that is where the stress comes in.  I cannot handle it all.  The beauty is, He can.  Now, if only I can allow myself to trust Him unapologetically.  Completely.  Entirely.  Totally.  Thoroughly. 

See, being nosey can have its positives afterall!

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About KarolynK

Hey there! Thanks for checking out my blog! My name is Karolyn (as you probably know) and I live in San Diego with my amazing Husband. I've been teaching Special Education for the bast six years and LOVE it! I am loving life and just trying to figure out if I'm doing what it is that God is wanting me to do....always a process! Thanks for sharing in this journey with me though, I really do appreciate it.

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