This past Saturday, April 9th, 2011 marked 7 years since my best friend passed away. It also marks the day that would have been her 28th birthday. Crazy to think of all that I have experienced between the ages of 21 and 28 – and that Kisha never got to have that. However, she’s spent the past seven years with Jesus which is way beyond anything I could dream of accomplishing her on earth!
It was an interesting anniversary – I usually set the day aside to reflect, cry, remember, and write – however, this year we were in Dallas. While I’d hoped for a big celebration for her, that is not what was in store. It becomes kind of challenging to celebrate in some ways – it can seem forced or too painful for others. I spent the day busy – running around at garage sales in the morning, catching up with friends throughout the day, and then with Kisha’s family that afternoon and evening. That was something I needed. We didn’t spend much time talking about Kisha – but most certainly a majority of our thoughts were dominated by memories of Kisha. Things I did that day, I was acutely aware that she was not there to share in them – a trip to Grapevine Mills, a drive to Southlake to cheer on Millenia, hanging out with Jamell, her once little sidekick.
Seven years. Seven. Biblically, seven represents the number of completion. What is complete this year? My ability to understand why she was taken so young? Not completely. My sense of loss? Probably never. An ability to allow time to heal? Some, but never all the way.
Talking to my dad, what he mentions he misses most often about my Grandpa is his dad’s voice. I remember that moment with Kisha – I was so frustrated one day that I could not hear her voice anymore. Her laugh was fading. There are times that it still comes back crystal clear – and I’m certain the few videos I have of her and have watched often in the years since assist in that memory and offer some consolation. But can one ever be consoled by such a devastating loss? I don’t believe so. And that is fine. We were designed to live forever – that is what God intended. Part of why it is so devastating to lose the loved ones we do is because that was not part of the original design – to die, to have such a sense of finality. Thankfully, with Jesus Christ, there is something to hope in. I can be hopeful that one day I will once again get to see Kisha and fellowship with her – that time, in the presence of the Lord Almighty! There are some days I can hardly wait. This happens to be one of them… There are other days I’m motivated and inspired to continue with the Lord’s work here – and that is most of the days. The Lord worked mightily in her life and has moved mightily since her death. Follow this link to read more about her story (or rather, His story through her life) – and follow the links imbedded to go more indepth as to how the Lord worked in and through her. Pretty incredible when you stand back and look at it – painful as you’re in it – but healing as we move through it with a growing dependency on Jesus.