Ten Years Ago…

A decade ago, I gave my life over to the Lord. I wish I could tell you that over the past ten years, I have done nothing but seek to glorify Him in all that I do and with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. Not quite the situation.

I was speaking to my ‘Work Mom’ this morning and telling her how I wished that someone would have been more direct in speaking to me about spiritual warfare. Because the Truth is that the devil is the prince of this world that we live in now. So things that seem to be true might not be so. Things that might appear pleasing can lead to destruction. Choices that seem right might turn out not to be so. There is so much compromise in this world and it just breaks my heart as I see it evidenced in my own life as well. How much I desire to have what I say and what I do be aligned!

As soon as I accepted Christ, my world as I knew it fell apart – my family, my sport, my relationships, my understanding, etc. I wish that through all of that, I would have turned to Christ. He just wasn’t tangible to me yet and I went back to what was familiar and comfortable. Back to the bondage. Back to the things that I didn’t want to do but kept on doing. This went on for six or seven years. Weeks or months of striving… just to ‘fail’ again and feel as if I was back at square one. However, I’ve now seen I need to shift my focus to all that I CAN do in Christ rather than the few things we’re told not to do – and even in those instructions, to better understand God’s heart and character in those ‘thou shalt nots’ so I can see the FREEDOM that He desires.

In the last ten years I have learned that I have so much more to learn. And how exciting that I have the rest of eternity to do just that! To learn and to love and to worship. How amazing! The Lord has me at a place where I once again am so aware of my desperate need for Him and Him alone. And I pray that I never again start thinking I can do it on my own. Because I have tried again and again and I just can’t. But, with Him, oh life is sweet. It is challenging and difficult but it is so sweet to have an eternal perspective and a hope that is everlasting and a love that is unchanging. In the midst of all of the compromise and confusion, it is awesome to serve a God who is consistent and unchanging! Here’s to the next ten years! 🙂

I am loving ‘Lead Me To The Cross’ lately – rid me of myself, Lord as I seek You!

Blessed Beyond Measure

Even though I am blessed beyond measure, sometimes in the mess of things I can so easily lose sight of that. This week was such a refreshing, renewing, and sweet time. It has been a difficult two and a half months. Interesting that directly correlates with our wedding date and that is by no coincidence.

Marriage is difficult. It is a lot of work – particularly when what we’re fighting against are not, in fact, flesh and blood but against principalities, against authorities, and against the universal lords of this darkness. That has been made abundantly clear over these past few months. I just finished reading ‘This Momentary Marriage’ by Piper. Wow. I love it – I love how passionate he is about emphasizing the TRUTH that marriage is to reflect Christ and the Church. And, whew, what a challenge – and what an invitation for the devil to come in and attempt to steal, kill, and destroy. I have been encouraged and reminded about the importance in my role as a wife to intercede on my husband’s behalf – to be in constant communication with the Lord rather than constantly trying to fix everything. I do a very poor job as a Holy Spirit.

A lot has happened over the past few months – there has been a lot of temptation to retreat and isolate, but I have been blessed with the friendships of many women who seek to point me back to the Truth. There have been a lot of hurt feelings, a lot of unmet expectations, a lot of unknowns. And what a beautiful place that has brought us to – right to the feet of Jesus. I won’t go into all of the details of things outside of our marriage that have happened over the past few months (and directly impact things inside our marriage), but I will request for the prayers of the righteous that are promised to availeth much!

It has been painful. It has been joyful. It has been humbling. It has been encouraging. Just like the relationship between Christ and His Church, His Bride. This week we were clearly reminded of Jesus’ sweetness. Of His desire to be intimately involved, to be the center, to be our all in all. I absolutely adore my husband. I am so thankful to be fighting right beside him. He is strong and passionate, he makes me laugh and he humbles me. He builds me up constantly – I will never again doubt how loved or how beautiful I am in the eyes of our Lord.

So, with all that elusiveness, I will list specific things that the Lord has done this week that have reminded me of how blessed I truly am.
• Hubs went to a Men’s Group Tuesday to be greeted immediately by my ‘work mom’s’ husband who offered to help sponsor him to go on the Men’s Retreat this weekend – something my husband has been desperate for is some deep connection with the Lord and some deep connection with godly men. Excited to see what the Lord is up to right now as the Hubs is away!
• The hubs and I had an incredibly healing and loving conversation on Tuesday night – we are just two sinful people really trying to figure this all out. It’s just lovely!
• Jen and Sam made it home from their honeymoon after some scary health complications with Jen and stayed the week with us – sweet memories of conversations, game nights, and married time together before they head back to Phoenix tomorrow
• Josiah came to work on Thursday to meet my students, per my students desperate requests. They just adored him. When Ruth tried to make fun of me at work the following day, my students got very defensive and quickly asked, ‘what would your husband think of that? I don’t think he’d think it was pretty funny.’ Precious, those kids are. This week, they requested that we practice reading ‘God words’. Wow!
• Thursday night we had our girls’ Bible Study at Casa Camden and it was great. Beforehand, three of us got to speak to a girl at Yogurtland and I must tell you that people will truly know we are disciples by the love we have for each other – let us exemplify this daily! People are drawn to Him through it!
• I am on a team that helped host a Send-off Party for two of our dear friends who are going to be missionaries in Jerusalem. Friday night was an INCREDIBLE time of worship, fellowship, casting vision, and celebration. I had some incredible conversations with some amazing women and left encouraged.
• Today has been a sweet, restful, and relaxing time. I’ve gotten some stuff done around the house, have organized some stuff, have been jamming to Pandora’s ‘Jeremy Camp’ channel and am preparing to host a going away party for Jen and Sam tonight. Bittersweet.

We are on the horizon of a lot of change, and the Lord has made that clear. A lot of people are leaving – four friends to three different countries as missionaries, Jen and Sam back to Phoenix to see what the Lord has in store, etc. I’m just so excited to be a part of all of it, even though it’s bittersweet to watch people go, it’s fun to watch them walk into what the Lord has in store. I never cease to be amazed. Off to treat myself to a nap – as I listen to ‘Hosanna’ – a plea and praise I often recite!

also
interj.
Used to express praise or adoration to God.

n.
A cry of “hosanna.”
A shout of fervent and worshipful praise.

weekend recap

Please note this might be another one of those blogs that is much more entertaining for me than you! But, with a memory like mine, I need to remember all of this somehow!

So, once again, I try to keep my weekends as full as possible so I don’t feel like I’ve had any resemblance of a break and then get to return to work Monday morning bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. 🙂 People had suspected that maybe once I got married, things would slow down. And for the record, I had this sneaking suspicion as well. However, this has proven not to be the case. Whatsoever. While my traveling and jet-setting ways might have slowed down tremendously, I still find myself leading an incredible fun-filled and jam-packed life. My husband is a wonderful companion :0)

Friday night, I came home from school and barely walked in the door before succumbing to a thirty minute power nap. Just what I needed before hanging out with the hubs and being joined by Ruth and Jen later that evening to do some wedding planning stuff for Jen and Sam – only a few days away now! Around 11pm, Bekah came down from Orange County to stay the night since she had a volleyball tournament in Mission Beach on Saturday. It was nice to get to catch up with her for a little bit! We realized it has been two months since we’ve even seen each other – and that was at the wedding, so there wasn’t really any deep conversations going on with 200 other people around! Oh well!

Saturday morning, I was up early to continue with preparations for the San Diego Bachelorette Party! My husband made me breakfast and I was out the door. Came back a few hours later to dip my cake balls and Maria came over to do some stuff online. At 1pm, Josiah and I both headed out in our respective directions – he went up to Oceanside and I headed downtown. The weather really cooperated with those of us joining the bachelorette festivities during the day. We lounged near the pool and quickly relocated up to the 5th floor as we followed the sun. We enjoyed laughter, food, and conversation with Jen – the bride-to-be – , Jamie, Ruth, Rachel, Shanon, and Lucy. Around 5, we headed end to get ready. And by get ready, you better believe we were really getting ready. Complete with tube socks, chucks, head bands, arm bands, black shirts and pink shorts! We were headed to the ROLLER DERBY! Unfortunately, we weren’t actually participating, we solely went as spectators and Maria, Mistie and Amy joined us there. Talk about some entertainment! It brought us all back to the viewing of the movie ‘Whip It’ or whatever it’s called. Mistie and Jamie did some great work and got Jen out on the rink at half time in order to compete with the Junior Roller Derby group. Even though she hadn’t run in a year, her adrenaline kicked in and she looked like a pro out there! I even saw some elbow throwing going on!

After wrapping up at the Derby, we headed home for some cake and snacks before making our way downtown to a place where my sister’s friend works. And, boy did she get us the hook-up! They were on the look out for a group of girls dressed up in roller derby garb (very classy for a night out on the town, if we do say so ourselves) and immediately found us in line to bring us straight in. We got downstairs where the DJ announced our arrival and we had a great time on the dance floor. For about thirty minutes. It was pushing midnight and we’re all getting a little older and decided it was best to call it a night and walk home. So that we did!

I woke up early Sunday morning to meet Kristen for coffee. She was in town recruiting and although we couldn’t host her at our home the night before due to previous aforementioned engagements, we had a lovely time chatting over our water at Starbucks. I just love that girl! She’s a great one for this words of affirmation love receiver’s soul. We hadn’t had the chance to catch up lately either, so it was a breath of fresh air. I headed back to the house to take a quick cat nap and then make some monkey bread preparations. I took a shower and got ready and left the girls house around 11am with them all set up to enjoy breakfast. A very happy bachelorette party indeed! Can’t wait for the upcoming wedding festivities this weekend!

I rendezvoused with my husband in Oceanside where we met my college teammate Jill and her husband Rob for lunch! We had our hearts set on sushi, but that restaurant chooses not to be open during the lunch hours on weekends. Something I do not understand. I should start a petition really. Anyways, we ended up down the street and enjoyed some sandwiches and pizza. And Jill and I did not miss a beat! It was fun catching up on the last – oh my goodness, has it been five years?! – of our lives (she’s had three kids in the meantime). Maybe we’ll end up living closer again one day and get to see each other more than once every five years! It was fun reliving our ‘glory days’ and talking about where everyone is these days. After wrapping up lunch there, Josiah and I headed back to his parents’ house where his brother Mark and his family were in town. We caught up with the family and I played a pretty intense game with their 6 year old son, Giuseppi. I kept taking some much needed breaks. It was humid out there!

I headed back early to prepare our home for the Team Israel prayer meeting I was hosting that night for a friend of mine that is heading to Israel to be a long-term missionary! God is doing some powerful things in and through her life and it is an honor and a privilege to be a part of it! We had an awesome time listening to what the Lord has done over the past few months and spent some time in prayer before ending the evening around 8pm.

The hubs got home not much after that and greeted me with a new sweater and a super cute card. Those cards he gets – he sure does know the way to my heart  We had a great time in conversation and hanging out that evening. I truly am blessed.

So, I’ve just worn myself out again by reliving this weekend. Sure am looking forward to Columbus day next Monday for a much-needed time to rest after the wedding celebration on Saturday! I’m off to go run some errands for the bride before meeting up with the youth pastor, his wife, and the youth group team to pray for and get prepared for the remainder of the school year. FUN STUFF!!!